Confidence is something I always used to lack. I think everyone has peaks and troughs of confidence, but some are more affected than others.
I used to look in the mirror and see someone completely different, but deep down- I knew that they weren't really there. However hard I tried to shake it off: I felt ugly, my self-esteem was low in all aspects and I felt like I never was totally happy with myself. I envied all the people I knew who had buckets full of confidence, just pouring out of them- it always dazzled me how they actually had that air about them. I tried to put on a layer of confidence: but it would just slowly slip away, leaving my core bare and exposed.
But one day something changed. I saw myself in a different way. What a lot of people need to learn is that you are a one of a kind human being, and whatever you look like, or what you are good at, is very special. All these small minded people who I was letting ruin my confidence didn't matter anymore. I have curves: I'm proud of them. I have fiery ginger hair: I'm proud of it. I've turned out to be the person I've always dreamt of being since I was small, not following the crowd- and being true to myself.
I'm immensely proud of that.
A part of gaining confidence is surrounding yourself with the right people. If you have friends who constantly put you down, and don't really understand who you are- they aren't for you. You need a friend who makes you feel good about yourself, who really gets you and respects your flaws. I've finally found a selective group of close friends that I know I want to have for life. But in particular, there are two people that have really made a mark upon me. Rahiya and Ben: I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You don't know how much I appreciate you all being there for me every day- and being some of the only people who I would trust with my life.
Confidence is a gradual journey. You've got to learn you love yourself, inch by inch. I embrace and adore my healthy body; and that is something I thought I would never say. When you find something you excel at, (don't worry if you haven't: it will come), give it your everything. Who cares if it isn't 'cool,' because you never know where it might take you in the future.
Life is too short to be miserable. To be happy, you need to love yourself and everything you do.
You are too unique to let that all go to waste.